The present study asks for the consequences of intensive parenthood demands on fertility decisions for a first, second or third birth in Germany. The prevalence of intensive parenting norms was analysed using data from the representative panel ‘Concepts of Family in Germany’. The results show that intensive parenting norms are widely accepted in Germany, especially the need for expert guidance and financial investment in children. Parities of zero, one and two children are associated with differences in these norms. The transition to a first or further birth is influenced negatively by fatherhood norms (childless individuals), financial norms (parents of one or two children) and child-centredness norms (parents of two children), but the impact is small. Instead, their non-significance may be interpreted as a preparation towards parenthood which we call ‘nest-building’.